I have often said that when I rule the world - (only for one year - the world couldn't handle any more than that) there would be certain changes. Below are my list of top ten changes:
1. Double-wide strollers would be outlawed. How rude are those things? Especially when shopping...just stack your kids one behind the other like our parents did...we turned out ok, right?
2) It would be illegal to be stupid. Stupidity will get you a ticket and eventually land you in jail (while you're there...say hi to my family and friends).
3) My face would be on $100 bills and $1 bills. The rest of the bills are up for grabs - just let me know what bill ya wanna be on and I'll hook ya up!
4) There will be mandatory makeovers. No excuses - after all, you don't want a ticket from the fashion police, right?
5) Laurakah will be an official international holiday. (I'm thinking it already might be since I gave an official "laurakah cowbell" to a kid in Canada at a hockey game last year - stay tuned!)
6) Roman numerals will be outlawed. They are sooooo last century.
7) Walking in a crowd will be taught in schools. But let's start now - walk like you drive - to the right. Do not stop in the middle of traffic. Stay in a straight line...swerving = bad - walking at a steady pace in a straight line = good.
8) All ATM/payment machines in stores, etc. will be uniform - no more trying to figure out when to swipe your card. If someone else makes it to queen before me - you can steal this idea - PLEASE!
9) Fireworks will be banned except by professionals. I'm sick and tired of putting buckets of water around my house and hiding with my dogs on the 4th of July. My neighborhood has a bunch of cops and firefighters who are pyros! You want fireworks? Light a $20 bill - that's the equivalent to spending your money on fireworks.
10) Minivans? Gone. You have kids? Get an SUV. No man ( or woman) has EVER EVER looked cool in one of those. So park those stupid boxes on wheels and get yourself an SUV - and don't whine about the gas - if you can have 3+ kids, you can afford gas....
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yeah, becuase nothing is cooler than a big waste of horsepower and space that we call the SUV. there's nothing either sporty nor utility about them. the interior space is taken up by big seats that cant be removed, and if you drive too fast your gas mileage goes out the window.
so look cool if you like. theres nothing wrong with being superficial. but my van IS built for sport (like hauling kayaks, camping equipment, or god forbid, actually camping INSIDE of it) and for utility (i can take the seats out and fit a refrigerator, a washer, a dryer, AND four duffel bags of clothes inside with plenty of legroom for me and my single passenger.)
all the while i average OVER 20 miles per gallon.
so whats so sporty or utility about a vehicle that you cant fit anything inside of, and cant configure to meet different needs.
being superficial isnt wrong, but it may be stupid. i love my van. see you on the road! LOL
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