This One's for the Girls...

Ok guys - this one is for the girls. I know you men out there read my blog because my co-worker actually bought me a "Cougar" sandwich for lunch. But this one's for the girls. You've been warned.


I feel obliged to share some tips with my girls. This may surprise you, but I don't wake up lookin' like a dime piece - it takes some wallet lettuce to look this good - and a little effort (how much do I love my Modern Slang Dictionary??).


Let's start with the basics: I have always believed that I am the most important person in my life - think about it - without me, there is no mother, no daughter, no sister, no wife, no friends. So it's my duty and obligation to take care of myself. And you can post all you want about being vain and shallow - and I will delete it. It's a fact that American culture is based on looks. So taking care of yourself says that you care about yourself - other people should too.


Hair:


It's the one thing you really can't hide. This is important. Don't dye your own hair - and don't cut it either. And if you are going gray, consider moving to a lighter shade than your normal color. There's nothing worse than 2 or 3 inches of gray roots - it looks like mold growing on your scalp. Do me a favor and go find a picture of yourself 10 years ago - I'll wait.


Got it? Ok, now answer this - is your hairstyle the same? If so, you need a change. This is one area that it pays to consult a professional.


Eyebrows:


Thicker eyebrows are in - they make your face look more youthful. It is well worth the money to have a professional do a wax. It's like an instant facelift - trust me - and be sure to thank me when you see me next.


Eyes:


Beside my bed I keep Arbonne's Re9 eyecream (e-mail me for where to get it - my BFF's Sister sells it). This is the gold standard and not as expensive as the stuff they try to sell you at the Department Store. I also keep Neosporine - I rub it on my cuticles, elbows and lips before bed.


My new favorite stuff is mineral makeup. Arbonne has a great line and Bare Minerals is really good too.

Get measured for a good bra. Having the right fit will make you look like you lost 10 lbs. And finally, the Bra Goddesses are listening to me - they are making larger bras that are actually sexy (this is a personal issue with me - I mean you would think that the fact that millions of women spend thousands to get implants then have to wear ugly bras? This has pissed me off for years).


Shoes:


Don't buy cheap shoes. They hurt your feet. They look cheap. Even though you think you have to wear ugly shoes for comfort or foot problems - YOU ARE WRONG. Sofft makes some killer shoes that support your arches and I could run a marathon in mine (yeah right - come on - that's exercise). Don't buy cheap shoes.


Pedicures:


Seriously - don't show off your gnarly toes if you don't take care of them. It's around $20 at any nail shop in a strip mall. Pay the money and get those calluses taken off! You will thank me for this.


So, these are just the basics for you - and men - don't think you're getting off the hook. I will be posting info on the basics of manscaping. You've been warned.