When I Rule The World

I have often said that when I rule the world - (only for one year - the world couldn't handle any more than that) there would be certain changes. Below are my list of top ten changes:

1. Double-wide strollers would be outlawed. How rude are those things? Especially when shopping...just stack your kids one behind the other like our parents did...we turned out ok, right?

2) It would be illegal to be stupid. Stupidity will get you a ticket and eventually land you in jail (while you're there...say hi to my family and friends).

3) My face would be on $100 bills and $1 bills. The rest of the bills are up for grabs - just let me know what bill ya wanna be on and I'll hook ya up!

4) There will be mandatory makeovers. No excuses - after all, you don't want a ticket from the fashion police, right?

5) Laurakah will be an official international holiday. (I'm thinking it already might be since I gave an official "laurakah cowbell" to a kid in Canada at a hockey game last year - stay tuned!)

6) Roman numerals will be outlawed. They are sooooo last century.

7) Walking in a crowd will be taught in schools. But let's start now - walk like you drive - to the right. Do not stop in the middle of traffic. Stay in a straight line...swerving = bad - walking at a steady pace in a straight line = good.

8) All ATM/payment machines in stores, etc. will be uniform - no more trying to figure out when to swipe your card. If someone else makes it to queen before me - you can steal this idea - PLEASE!

9) Fireworks will be banned except by professionals. I'm sick and tired of putting buckets of water around my house and hiding with my dogs on the 4th of July. My neighborhood has a bunch of cops and firefighters who are pyros! You want fireworks? Light a $20 bill - that's the equivalent to spending your money on fireworks.

10) Minivans? Gone. You have kids? Get an SUV. No man ( or woman) has EVER EVER looked cool in one of those. So park those stupid boxes on wheels and get yourself an SUV - and don't whine about the gas - if you can have 3+ kids, you can afford gas....

Soft Addictions

Hi Friends! It's been a while - I've been out of town, working a lot and being a big ball of stress. Which leads me to my topic...soft addictions.

I was at my BFF's 40th birthday extravaganza in Reno, NV when I first heard the word applied to me. My new cell phone was not connecting to the internet and I was seething about not being able to be plugged into my world. Between juggling a diet coke and fiddling with my cell phone, I guess I was not my usual fun self...

It's one of those things - I gave up drinking 14 1/2 years ago but replaced my addiction with work. But in my defense, what's worse?

I do my work with a lot of passion - I consider it my greatest strength and biggest weakness. I am one of the very few people who actually get paid to do what I love. And yes, I'm one of those idiots who would keep my job if I won the lottery...although I concede that I would probably get fired by doing something stupid like offering a co-worker $1000 to shut the hell up.

But lately it's made me into someone who is constantly pushing to get more and more done. It has become harder and harder to 'unplug' from my job, my computer, my cell phone, and from constantly turning things over in my mind. Modern technology has made me it's bitch - I can't get away.

Why can't I love exercise (although I had a great golf game not too long ago)? Why don't I love to do anything besides work, shop and read?

It's time for hockey. It's time for me to yell at Becanic and tell the other team that they 'still suck'. It's time for me to rush through the day anxious to get to the stadium to see my buddies.

Did I really just wish for summer to end?