Tool Belt Diva

I guess I watch too many home improvement shows - you know 'Tool Belt Diva', 'Trading Spaces'- shows like these designed to make you feel like you can whip out some tools, drywall a room and refinish your hardwood floors in a day.

Before I tell you the great vacuum fire story of '08, here's a little background...

1) 2007/2008 has been the year of major purchases: we have had to replace a lot of appliances because they quit working - we bought a fridge, a stove, new washer/dryer, new sunglasses - you know...vital stuff to keep your house working.

2) When I got married, I got a valuable piece of advice from woman who had been married for 30 years. She said that whenever she wanted something done in her house (say hanging a curtain rod) and her husband wasn't doing it, she would go grab the biggest tool in the garage (say a power drill)and start just drilling big holes in the wall until her husband got up and did the job...keep that in the holster, girls, it works!

3) We have 3 dogs (all named after Presidents...Jackson, Teddy and Madison). Jackson is a chow/german shepard and if you didn't know Spring or Fall was on the way, you would know by the shedding of his coat. Chows have a lot of hair - and Jackson sheds in clumps. Huge clumps all over my tan carpet....

So, we have a vacuum that has been doing a lot of duty picking up huge clumps of dog hair and all the stuff little Madison brings into the house to chew up from the yard. It's not an expensive vacuum, but it's worked hard and I faithfully replace the bag and hoses to keep it going. The other night I changed the bag and started vacuuming. It made a funny noise, but hey, you just keep going, right? It decided to stop working so I flipped it over and discovered a bunch of gunk wrapped around the roller. I got my sewing scissors out, cleaned out the stuff, and plugged it back in to marvel at my work. But it didn't go - the motor sounded stuck. I gave up and went to bed.

The next day I decided I was going to tackle this project again - after all, my carpet looked like crap and I watch the shows...I can do this, right? Yeah...with Randy looking on, I got the phillips head screwdriver and took the bottom off the vacuum. Looking like I knew what I was doing, I messed with the belt and blew some dirt off the roller and pronounced it fixed! I plugged it in preparing to wow my husband - and the damn thing started smoking. Now, if I were my mothers' daughter, I would tell you that flames were shooting out and I bravely smothered the fire and saved my house from ruin. Except the real story went like this:

Randy - Take that outside now - not on the deck - on the cement in case it bursts into flames.
Me - Let me unplug it
Randy - NOW
Me - I'm going (I took it out front and put it on the cement walkway)
Randy - For future reference, if a motor doesn't want to turn, don't make it
Me - I was trying to save us money
Randy - Nice work - go get a new vacuum

The house was filled with a putrid rubber smell all night and I froze my butt off with all the windows open - my punishment for my foray into home improvement. The story of me buying two vacuums the next day because the first one I bought didn't suck is for another day...

I think I'm going to stick to just watching the home improvement shows and only practicing the stuff I learn on "What Not To Wear"...